


pull me closer to you

by boyfrendery



Category: NCT (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Anal Fingering, Anal Sex, Established Relationship, First Time, Loss of Virginity, M/M, Making Out, New Year’s Eve, Porn with Feelings
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-31
Updated: 2020-12-31
Packaged: 2021-03-10 23:34:15
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,535
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28385586
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/boyfrendery/pseuds/boyfrendery
Summary: “I’ve wanted this for a long time,” Renjun finally whispers, breathless after a few more heartbeats.Outside it’s pitch-black, and the living room is dark except for the Christmas lights still hung up around the house—tumbling down and around the tree, along the perimeter of the living room, softly glowing through the window from where the lights line the rooftop—but it’s bright enough for Yukhei to make out all the important details of Renjun’s face. Renjun’s shy and blushing as Yukhei tucks a tuft of hair behind his ear, smiles when Yukhei’s fingers cup his chin and coaxes him forward, closing their distance.It’s pitch-black and the house is empty, and this is something Yukhei’s wanted for a really, really long time.“Me too.”(Renjun and Yukhei make special plans for New Year's Eve.)
Relationships: Huang Ren Jun/Wong Yuk Hei | Lucas
Comments: 25
Kudos: 161





	pull me closer to you

**Author's Note:**

> title taken from [this](https://youtu.be/tw_5fw-FdyM) song.
> 
> this sort of fic has been brewing in my head for a while—glad i could share it before the end of the year ♡ special thanks to [rose](https://archiveofourown.org/users/divinerenjun) for beta-ing for me!

“You going to your aunt’s for New Year’s Eve?” Renjun asks as he lowers the volume of the movie. 

It’s the night before Christmas and Yukhei has had the pleasure of spending the entire day with Renjun: they went ice skating in the afternoon, ate dinner at home with his mom and dad and brother, exchanged Christmas gifts an hour ago. Now they’re cozied up in Yukhei’s bedroom, snuggling on top of his bed, Renjun dressed out of his skating clothes and into one of Yukhei’s sweaters. The bedroom door is swung wide open—always has to be, as is one of the few rules of the Wong household—and a Lifetime holiday film plays on Yukhei’s desktop monitor. Neither of them are paying much attention to it.

“Probably. My family goes there every year,” Yukhei answers, wrapping his arm around Renjun’s shoulder. “Why?”

“I actually… I had an idea for us to do something next week. But you’re gonna laugh.” Renjun ducks his head into the pit of Yukhei’s arm, nuzzling his forehead into Yukhei’s side. “It’s pretty cheesy.”

Yukhei flattens the hair over the top of Renjun’s head before pressing a kiss there. “Try me.”

Whatever Renjun says gets lost on its way to Yukhei’s ears, words completely muffled in the layers of blanket and clothes. “Babe, I literally couldn’t hear you. Repeat it for me,” Yukhei asks, guiding Renjun’s chin upward to look at him. He flashes him a toothy smile. “Please?”

Renjun can’t seem to make eye contact with him. “I want… I want to, uh. Do it. On New Year’s Eve.”

Yukhei coos. “Awww, baobei.”

“Hey!” Renjun playfully shoves him onto the other side of the bed. “Don’t _aww_ at me. I—I’m serious. I’ve got a whole game plan mapped out in my head.”

Yukhei straightens up, leaning against the headboard. Upon adjusting, Renjun moves with him until he’s comfortably tucked along Yukhei’s side, his cheek squished against his chest. Yukhei smiles, lazy and relaxed, looking down at his boyfriend. “Okay, I’m listening. What’s the plan, boss?”

“My family usually stays home for New Year’s Eve, but yours go out every year, right?” Yukhei nods, giving the go-ahead for Renjun to continue. “But Yangyang and Mark are hosting a party that night too. So I thought—and I know you don’t like lying, but—we could tell our parents that we’re somewhere else but spend it together at your place.” Renjun pauses, looking down at his fingers twirling the string of Yukhei’s hoodie. “And no one will be home.” 

The idea makes Yukhei’s head spin and his heart soar. 

It’s been a couple seasons since they started dating, the year before that spent texting and talking, dancing around the undeniable chemistry they developed over shared drinks and a game of beer pong at Mark’s 19th birthday party. Only got their shit together when Renjun returned home from university for the summer and Yukhei realized he loved him, loved him too much to let him leave again without knowing.

And no matter how much they both have wanted to do this—how much Yukhei has dreamt of this, to feel Renjun’s bare skin against his—there’s never been the opportunity for them to truly have any time alone, to do it right. Renjun emphasized that from the beginning: wanting that security, the ease of knowing they’re alone with each other, not having to worry about being interrupted or caught. Both of their houses _always_ have someone at home, whether it’s Yukhei’s younger brother or Renjun’s grandparents, and even if they tried to be quiet, each past attempt at going all the way left them both feeling uncomfortable and filled with regret.

Yukhei is eager, but he’s also patient, and if this is finally their opportunity for some real alone time, hand-delivered by Renjun and offered so readily, well—who’s he to deny it?

“Okay,” he answers. “We can do that. I’ll tell my parents that I’m going to your house for New Year’s Eve. What about your parents?”

“I can… I’ll just say that we’re both going to Yangyang’s place. Your parents can drop you off at my house, then we can—” Renjun pauses to make air-quotes with his fingers “ _‘go to Yangyang’s’_ from mine, but we’ll just head back to your place.”

“Sounds perfect to me,” Yukhei says, pulling Renjun onto his lap. “Now kiss me, you sexy mastermind.”

  
  
  


Yukhei spends the whole week leading up to New Year’s Eve practically bouncing on his toes, antsy with anticipation. Christmas Day is easy enough to breeze through—lots of family time, _lots_ of food—and between his work shifts at the hardware store and plans with friends, he’s distracted enough to not spend his entire day thinking about Renjun.

He thinks about him at night, though. A hand grazing over his boxers before he peels them off completely, jerking off to the thought of Renjun’s mouth wrapped around him, or panting into his skin, or sighing his name as he comes. Yukhei isn’t afraid to admit he’s excited for their plans. How could he not be?

But he also spends the entire week with a little cloud of worry hovering over him, raining on his thoughts when even a sliver of insecurity slices through his mind. It’s a _lot_ of pressure, knowing that they want to—they _will_ —have sex, and they don’t know the next time they might be allotted this freedom. Renjun’s flight is scheduled three days after the new year, just in time for the start of the winter semester, and it won’t be another three months until they see each other again. And _god_ , Yukhei doesn’t want to have to wait that long. He doesn’t want to fuck anything up.

On the morning of New Year’s Eve, he spends the entire day cleaning up his bedroom and living room. He locks the bathroom door and sits on the lid of the toilet for 20 minutes, trimming his hair until he feels proper and presentable—not that he thinks Renjun would care, but it’s the effort that counts—and then he cleans his room again. 

It’s surprisingly easy to convince his parents to let him celebrate New Year’s Eve with Renjun’s family. He explains their yearly tradition of staying home and it’s convincing enough for them to say yes without many questions, only asking that he calls them if he needs a ride home afterward. The plan works perfectly and with Jaemin’s help, Yukhei finds himself back at his doorstep before 8pm, clasping Renjun’s gloved hand in his.

He opens the door of the house, letting Renjun walk inside before double-locking the door behind him. It clicks closed and only then does the surge of want fill his chest, not waiting for Renjun to take off his shoes before kissing him against the mirror of the hallway closet.

“You’re eager,” Renjun says, laughing.

“A little,” Yukhei admits. Kisses Renjun again to feel the laughter directly on his lips. “Been thinking about you all day.”

Renjun sighs, eyes fluttering closed as he pulls Yukhei closer. 

  
  
  


The night doesn’t feel like New Year’s Eve—not the same way that Yukhei is used to, at least. Every new year is celebrated in the company of his family: cousins running around his aunt’s house, parents drinking and gambling and gossiping, champagne and noise-makers and excitement. He’s used to family and laughter and _busy_ , all that noise.

Here with Renjun, it’s quiet.

It’s quiet save for the show playing on the TV, the one they’ve both seen in its entirety, had no real care to watch and played for the sake of playing, for some sort of static in the background. It was quiet while they ate dinner—an absolutely _luxurious_ end-of-year meal, frozen pizza coupled with cheap champagne—and quiet when Renjun tugged Yukhei by the hand toward the couch, and it’s _been_ quiet ever since Renjun slid himself out from under Yukhei’s arm and crossed into his personal space, leaning forward, looking at Yukhei with nervousness and expectation and _want_ , biting his bottom lip.

And then it’s quiet because Yukhei’s breath stops. Renjun hums, flutters his eyes shut and brushes Yukhei’s lips lightly against his own, and then it’s quiet because they’re kissing.

Yukhei exhales shallowly, eyes closing, holding Renjun as he adjusts himself on the couch. He lowers himself to press the back of his head against the armrest, Renjun now pulled properly on his lap and sitting on him and kissing him, again and again, mouth slotting along his lips and sliding against his tongue and it’s never enough. They’ve been here so many times but it’s never enough to kiss like this, too many layers between them and not enough body heat, not enough shared space, not enough time to take each piece of clothing off, one by one.

Renjun lifts his arms up to cage Yukhei below him, hands on either side of Yukhei’s chest, and with that movement comes a sliver of skin exposed above Renjun’s hips, where his turtleneck has untucked itself and ridden up his stomach. Yukhei slides his hand there, under his shirt and Renjun’s breath hitches once before melting again, palm splayed and pressed over Yukhei’s rapidly beating heart. He bites Renjun’s lip just as he pushes his hand further up his back, counting the knobs beneath his fingertips and spreading his hand across the wings of Renjun’s shoulder blades: the rough-smooth expanse of his back, the bumps of his acne scars, a dry patch close to his waist.

“Hey,” Yukhei says, shaky once Renjun pulls away for air. Foreheads bumping, bangs falling over his eyes. Renjun tenses under his touch when Yukhei places his palm on his thigh.

Renjun trembles slightly on his arms, giving up any strength to slump his whole body weight on Yukhei’s chest—not that he minds. His arms wrap around Yukhei’s middle and he hugs him, letting out a content sound as he sighs into his chest. “Hi.”

“You doing okay down there?” Yukhei asks, more joking than anything. He can feel Renjun’s shaky breath still, his pounding heart, too, and it calms him to know that the nerves burning under his skin is a shared sentiment.

“Yeah, yeah.” Renjun tilts his chin further into Yukhei’s chest again. “Just thinking.”

Yukhei doesn’t know what to say. Renjun’s face twists into a furrowed, focused expression, the kind he makes when he has too many thoughts going through his head, so Yukhei waits. The clock ticks past 9 when he catches sight of it on the living room wall.

“I’ve wanted this for a long time,” Renjun finally whispers, breathless after a few more heartbeats.

Yukhei looks down at Renjun. Outside it’s pitch-black, and the living room is dark except for the Christmas lights still hung up around the house—tumbling down and around the tree, along the perimeter of the living room, softly glowing through the window from where the lights line the rooftop—but it’s bright enough for him to make out all the important details of Renjun’s face. The strong downward slope of his nose, the twinkling of the colourful lights reflected in his irises. The shadow beneath the swell of his bottom lip. Renjun’s shy and blushing as Yukhei tucks a tuft of hair behind his ear, smiles when Yukhei’s fingers cup his chin and coaxes him forward, closing their distance.

It’s pitch-black and the house is empty, and this is something Yukhei’s wanted for a really, really long time.

“Me too,” he says, and he finds himself smiling again.

“Your bedroom,” Renjun mutters. He sits up on Yukhei’s lap and rolls off the couch, standing up with a slight wobble. He extends his hand and hoists Yukhei up. “I want you there.”

Yukhei’s room is a mere thirteen steps away from the living room (one of the benefits of having a bungalow for a home), close enough for Renjun to lure Yukhei off the couch with ease and lead him there by hand, fingers clasped and tight and urgent. They reach his doorway and Yukhei kisses Renjun there, lifting him in his arms in a swooping, ever-romantic gesture to carry him to the bed.

“How impressive,” Renjun remarks, giggling into Yukhei’s lips as he’s set down on the bed. He clings his arms around Yukhei’s middle like a koala. “You act like you’ve done this before.”

“I can assure you I haven’t,” Yukhei says, begrudgingly pulling out of Renjun’s embrace to flick on the LED lights lining the ceiling of the room. He firmly shuts the door—locks it, too. Better safe than sorry.

He turns around, overlooking the sight of Renjun splayed out on his bed, and it dawns on him that this is happening, what they’re about to do. _Planning to do_ , Yukhei corrects himself, because nothing’s happened yet, and he can’t get too excited so soon, even if the tent in his pants is overtaking all rational thoughts in favour of focusing on how good Renjun looks like this. He’s so fucking lucky.

They almost got here once, right before their fall semester started and Renjun moved out, but it didn’t get any further than Renjun wrapping his hand around Yukhei’s cock with his shorts still on, rubbing him hard and breathless through his clothes before they heard the front door unlock and his brother come home and they were forced to stop. Yukhei paid for Timhei’s silence with a week’s worth of bubble tea; he hasn’t mentioned the incident since.

Now, with the absolute certainty that no one will come barging through the front door, Renjun doesn’t have to stick his hand down Yukhei’s pants, nor do they have to worry about how much time is left.

He checks the clock on his phone anyway, reads 9:09pm. Long until midnight, long for them to do this slow, do right by Renjun.

Underneath Yukhei’s bed is a half-filled shoebox of mementos: a little collection he started as soon as he began dating Renjun. The receipt for their first date along with ticket stubs, pamphlets, the beaded necklace thrown into the crowd during a parade at the summer fair. Renjun watches him with curious eyes as he opens up the box and fishes out the brand new bottle of lube he bought a few days ago, alongside a variety pack of condoms—couldn’t decide what was the best option at the time, so he just got _all_ of them—and when Yukhei lifts his head up, he sees his own shyness reflected in his boyfriend’s face.

“Do you—um.” Renjun looks anywhere but at him, so Yukhei gets up to sit next to him on the edge of the bed. “Did you… try it yet? Putting it,” he gestures toward the condoms, “on?”

It’s not something Yukhei thought to do. He laughs nervously. “I—no? Do you… know how? I mean, it doesn’t look _hard_ to use—”

“It isn’t hard, I just—wanna make sure we’re safe, is all.”

“Baby, I’m pretty sure we’re safe, especially since we’re both virgins—” Renjun cuts him off with a punch to the shoulder, giggling. “What! It’s true!”

And Renjun keeps laughing as he turns his head, taking both sides of Yukhei’s jaw to draw him into another kiss. Renjun laughs and Yukhei abandons the box and bottle in his lap, letting them fall onto his blanket, letting himself drown in the feeling of Renjun’s lips.

Shuffling backward, Renjun maneuvers both of their bodies until they’re oriented squarely in the center of the bed. Like this, Yukhei feels hot and cold at the same time. He’d be lying if he said he wasn’t nervous. Scared, even, to be doing this— _finally_ , his horny-buzzed brain cruelly reminds him—yet it warms his heart to know that Renjun’s on edge, too, noticing it more now that they’re so close, the way his breath hitches when Yukhei reaches for the bottom of his sweater, slowly pulling the white turtleneck off of Renjun’s body until he’s half naked underneath him. He finds the fastens of his own dress shirt and wrestles with the front.

“These—these _buttons_ ,” Yukhei grits, fumbling. Less grace than he’d like to imagine for himself.

Renjun takes Yukhei’s hands away from his shirt, placing them on his waist. “I can do it.”

He should’ve expected this, he supposes. Renjun teases him, looking him in the eye as he unbuttons Yukhei’s shirt slowly, and Yukhei marvels at how his body moves, fingers quick down his front, his arms and abs flexed with tension. Tight waist and slender frame, Yukhei’s hand petting the side of Renjun’s torso and following down. Renjun loosens the last button and pushes the shirt off Yukhei’s shoulders, tossing it to the side.

They’ve seen each other like this—in less than this, on summer weekends spent lazing about on the deck of Mark’s backyard pool—and yet Yukhei is reminded once more of how decidedly different this is. His face hovers an inch away from Renjun’s but their eyes won’t meet, Renjun too busy running his hands over Yukhei’s shoulders and arms, lips pretty and slacked into a perfect O, raking it in. 

“Next time I see Dejun I’ll have to thank him,” Renjun says once he finally lifts his gaze off of Yukhei’s arms to look him in the eye. “All those early mornings at the gym have paid off.”

Renjun rarely lets compliments slip off his tongue, knows too well how much they boost Yukhei’s ego. He smirks. “You think so?” he asks, showing off under Renjun’s touch.

He says nothing in response, just hums, fingers finding the bottom of Yukhei’s tank top. Looks up at Yukhei and presses his lips tight into a line when he nods, pulling Yukhei’s undershirt up his torso, over his head and off to the floor.

“Huh.” Renjun’s hand rests over Yukhei’s ribs. He traces the outline of the lion tattooed into his skin, admiring it. “Totally forgot you had this.”

Yukhei shrugs. “It’s there. Not important right now, though.”

What happens next happens fast, a collision as Renjun lurches forward and finds Yukhei’s lips, pressing his fingers along the nape of his neck and flat against his abs. Warmth emanates from Renjun’s body, so much warmth that wraps Yukhei up in the best way possible, more aware now than ever of his heart against Renjun’s chest, the deep middle line that dips down the center of his torso, that ends at his navel.

And Renjun—Renjun kisses greedily, devouring all of Yukhei’s kisses with a hunger he’s never felt before. Pleasure zips through his spine and up his scalp, body-tingling with the ferocity of Renjun’s fingers, unbuckling Yukhei’s belt and unzipping the fly of his jeans.

“Off,” Renjun whispers. “Take these off, please, off.”

Yukhei detaches from his lips and works quickly, shucking off his jeans faster than he ever has, until his pants lie on the floor and he’s standing beside his bed with only his underwear on. Renjun’s urgency mirrors his own: by the time Yukhei looks up again, he’s already lying on the bed, half-naked and panting, waiting. He catches the rise of Renjun’s chest as his eyes dart down to Yukhei’s underwear, certain that his boyfriend can see the imprint of his cock through the fabric of his Calvin Kleins.

It’d be embarrassing if Renjun wasn’t in the exact same state as him. Cheeks and chest rosy, bangs in disarray over his forehead, the outline of his semi visible through his briefs. A wet spot where Yukhei can see the head; he notices it and his dick twitches.

Yukhei scurries forward, pressing a kiss into Renjun’s temple before rolling over and sliding under the covers. “C’mere.”

He expects Renjun to saddle up next to him, fit into the space at his side where he knows Renjun fits perfectly. Instead, Renjun lifts the blanket and crawls over to Yukhei, settling onto his thighs to straddle his lap. With so little between them Yukhei can’t ignore Renjun’s cock nudging his own, a mere two layers of fabric between them. He looks down at their laps, at his hands holding Renjun’s thighs, at his fingers creeping under his briefs, grazing the curve of his ass.

The night could end right here and Yukhei would be completely content. Here, where Renjun leans down to capture his lips in a kiss—god knows how many times they’ve kissed tonight—and licks his tongue over his teeth, wraps both of his hands around the back of Yukhei’s neck and rocks his hips, rutting over his thigh with weary patience. One of Yukhei’s hands finds purchase at the dip of Renjun’s spine, the other firmly holding the crest of his ass, squeezing with every rock of his hips down, and the friction is teasing enough to make him want more. 

Here, he could be completely content, could come like this easily. So fucking easily with how Renjun moans into his mouth and keeps rocking against his cock, the pressure building and shooting through his spine.

And Yukhei doesn’t know what Renjun’s like when he’s about to come, but he thinks this—this panting, breathy mess, this low groan and insistence and unrelenting need—is probably a sign that he’s just as far gone as Yukhei is.

“Baby,” Yukhei says, willing himself not to move any further. “Baby, slow down.” He opens his eyes, meets Renjun’s cloudy gaze and breaks it with a kiss to his nose.

“Okay, just— I—” Renjun slows, stops moving his hips to sit completely still in Yukhei’s lap. 

“We don’t have to rush, babe, we can take our time—”

“Okay!” Renjun says, louder, moving off Yukhei’s lap to fall onto the bed. “We don’t even have to—have to do _anything_ , we can just lie here and—”

“That isn’t what—that’s not what I’m asking.” Yukhei chases after Renjun, who’s rolled on his side, face tucked into a pillow and turned away. He rests a hand on Renjun’s shoulder. “But we _can_ stop, if that’s what you want. Is… is that what you want?”

“No, that’s not—no.” Renjun huffs. “But we don’t have to take everything so slow.” 

“We don’t have to move so fast, either. I thought that’s what we wanted to—” Yukhei pauses. Tries to collect himself because he doesn’t _get_ it, where this all came from. “We have the whole house to ourselves and hours ahead of us. Just you and me on New Year’s Eve.” He pulls the blanket over Renjun’s body, snuggling into his back with his chin on his shoulder. “Why’re you rushing?”

Renjun twists himself until he’s facing Yukhei’s chest, not looking at him. “I’m not _rushing_ , I just… wanna get this over with.”

“But—” Yukhei can’t wrap his head around this. “Why? I thought you—you were the one who asked so, I thought…” 

“It’s not—I—” Renjun sighs heavily, pressing his eyelids closer. Yukhei watches as he purses his lip tighter. “I’m nervous. And scared. I’m ready, I really am, and I want you so _bad,_ I mean that, but—” Renjun bites his lip closed and buries his face into Yukhei’s chest. “What if we don’t like it? Or you don’t like it, or it’s bad, or _I’m_ bad—”

“I think it’s common that the first time isn’t like, mind-blowing,” Yukhei says, chuckling. “You’re forgetting that you’re my first too. I have no basis for comparison so, really, you can’t be bad if you’re the best I know!”

Renjun feigns a laugh but keeps his head tilted down. The blanket in his hand creases as he tightens his fist. “I guess so.”

“Can you look at me? Please?” 

Yukhei feels Renjun’s heavy breath against his chest. Then Renjun tilts his head up, his sweet eyes looking directly at him.

Both of Renjun’s hands are still holding onto the blanket; Yukhei unfolds his fingers, clasping Renjun’s hands together in his own and bringing them up to his lips. He kisses both sets of his knuckles. “We’re in this together, you know. I’m nervous too, and—god, I was about to fucking come if you kept grinding up against me.”

Renjun giggles. “Same.”

“And I’m, like, terrified that I’m gonna finish too fast and get soft on you. Will you still love me if I do that?” Yukhei jokes.

Now it’s Renjun’s turn to kiss Yukhei’s hand. “Of course I would.”

“Okay. And I’ll love you if you change your mind and want to cuddle for the rest of the night, or if you want to—iunno, swap handjobs or something else instead—but just. Know that it doesn’t matter what happens tonight, okay? We can go as far as we’re ready to.”

“Okay,” Renjun says, nodding. “I trust you.” 

Yukhei kisses his temple, pulling the blanket over both of their shoulders. “Okay.”

Yukhei holds Renjun, who rests his eyes as he leans into his side, tucked beside his heart, and Yukhei closes his eyes, and it’s quiet as they fall asleep.

  
  
  


“Xuxi.”

Yukhei blinks up at the ceiling. The striplights are still on and it’s unusually warm in his bed; he turns over to the sight of Renjun watching him, their fingers tangled in the space between them. “Hi.”

“We fell asleep.”

“I can see that,” Yukhei says, pulling Renjun closer. He looks so good like this, sleepy and sighing and smelling like Yukhei’s sheets. It’s wonderful. “Did we miss the countdown?”

“Not yet, we’ve got,” Renjun clicks his tongue, pulling up his arm to look at his wristwatch. “Over an hour before midnight. It’s not even 11.”

“Perfect, perfect,” Yukhei kisses him on the head. “Lots of time.”

Something Yukhei loves about Renjun is the softness of his face, the smooth fuzz of the hair along his jaw, how he looks when he smiles and it wrinkles the edges of his eyes, creases his dimple. He takes Renjun’s chin between his fingers and admires all of it again, and Renjun stares at him. Looks at him with love, love and sincerity and fondness etched into the edge of his smile and the sparkle of his eyes, and when Yukhei kisses him again, it’s sweet and slow like syrup poured on a Sunday morning, something he could easily wake up to again and again. 

The blanket falls off to the side as Yukhei rolls on top of Renjun. Renjun, with his fanned bangs and blushed cheeks, Renjun who smiles sweetly before reaching for the hair just above Yukhei’s neck, luring him down for another kiss.

This is as natural as breathing. It’s the next part that Yukhei’s not so sure about.

But he doesn’t rush it. Neither of them do, so Yukhei gives all of his devotion to Renjun’s lips, slicking them up with his tongue before moving on to his earlobe and tugging on it with his teeth, breathing into his eardrum and letting him hear how absolutely gone he is, dizzy with the feeling of skin on skin, of Renjun’s semi straining against Yukhei’s thigh. Yukhei kisses his neck and Renjun gasps, scratching at his shoulder as he works lower and lower. Sweeps his lips over the lump that bobs in Renjun’s throat, peppering kisses on his collarbone, dropping a single kiss on his sternum, his navel, his hip.

“Xuxi,” Renjun sighs, tugging on his hair to bring attention back to his lips, and Yukhei would be a fool to not kiss him again. He pats Yukhei’s head with gratitude and Yukhei takes it as permission to lower himself once more, sucking at his neck to leave a lovemark that’ll last until his flight home.

“How many turtlenecks d’you have?” Yukhei asks, his hand petting down Renjun’s side. Fingertips over the plane of Renjun’s stomach, lingering along the waistband of his underwear.

“I, _ah_ , have a lot.” Renjun gulps and Yukhei moves his fingers lower, resting at his hip. “Too many to count.”

“Good.” Yukhei grins as he pecks his lips again. “You’re gonna need them.”

Renjun rolls his eyes. Softly sucker punches Yukhei in the gut. “I oughta buy you a chew toy if you’re gonna spend all night biting my neck.”

“But your neck smells so _good_ ,” Yukhei says, licking a thick vein along Renjun’s throat before nibbling at it. “Not my fault you bruise like a peach.”

Renjun takes Yukhei’s hand—the one settled over his thigh, dangerously close to the hem of his briefs—and guides it up, up, up until it lands over his clothed cock. It’s a clear message, so Yukhei adds more pressure with his palm, savouring how Renjun hisses at the friction.

He waits a moment, just in case, and when Renjun digs his fingernails into Yukhei’s ass, pressing their hips close together, Yukhei knows what he wants. His fingers find the top of his briefs; he chances a look before dipping his fingers underneath the hem and taking Renjun’s cock in his hand.

He fits there perfectly.

Renjun moans, pupils blown wide as Yukhei pushes down his foreskin, thumbing over the top of his head and dipping into the slit where precum leaks messily onto his finger. It provides a bit of a slide but not enough, certainly not enough to feel any good, so Yukhei releases his grip—with a huff of discontent from Renjun, looking down with such desperation and restlessness that Yukhei doesn’t think either of them will last very long at all—and he pushes Renjun’s underwear off his hips.

Yukhei’s embarrassed to admit that he’s never touched Renjun before tonight. Seen him pixelated through many hot and heated Facetime calls while he was away, but never in person, never bearing witness to the delightfully warm heat of having his cock in his hand, the way it twitches against his stomach.

“You,” Yukhei kisses into the side of Renjun’s knee, trailing up his inner thigh, “are a dream.”

“ _God_ , Xuxi, you can’t just—” Renjun rasps out, eyebrows knitted together. He sucks in a sharp inhale as Yukhei takes him into his mouth.

He doesn’t know what he’s doing here, but Yukhei trusts that the hours he’s spent watching porn and reading shoddy internet advice have given him enough knowledge to get by, hopes they have at least an ounce of truth to their techniques. Sucking at the tip of Renjun’s cock is weird, feels only like thick flesh in his mouth, and he does his best to pull his foreskin down and lick his head with the blade of his tongue. It works because Renjun groans, one hand buried in Yukhei’s hair, another thrown across his mouth as he gasps and moans and it’s beautiful, it’s the most beautiful thing Yukhei’s ever laid eyes on: Renjun’s back arching, chest rising and falling, red spreading down his neck and over his chest.

Having decided that he’s spent enough time giving attention to Renjun’s tip, he breathes through his nose and lowers, taking as much as he can fit into his mouth.

“ _Fuck_ , holy fuck Xuxi,” Renjun says, barely holding it together. Yukhei bobs his head a few more times, hallowing his cheeks, and Renjun’s hand tugs dangerously hard onto his scalp. He picks up momentum, doing his best to go faster, and Renjun tightens his grip a little harder, voice broken and shallow, and then Renjun’s body completely seizes as he comes into Yukhei’s mouth.

Yukhei gags—most of it shot down the back of his throat, and it feels like a _lot_ of cum, fuck—then pulls off Renjun’s dick, wiping his lips and trying to swallow down what’s left on his tongue.

Renjun scrambles forward, reaching for Yukhei. “Oh my god, Xuxi, fuck, I’m sorry, I’m sorry—”

“It’s,” Yukhei gulps. He finds the water bottle next to his bed and takes a long swig. “Would you be offended if I told you it tastes bad?”

“A little.”

Another swig of water before tossing it off to the side. “Well. I’m sorry to break it to you but it doesn’t taste good.”

Renjun laughs, throws a weak punch in Yukhei’s direction. He looks like human jello melted into the bed. “I’ll have to find out for myself later.” Yukhei’s cock twitches in his boxers at the thought of it. 

Renjun must notice; Yukhei would be shy if he hadn’t already swallowed Renjun's cum, so they’re long past feelings of shyness. He pushes Yukhei onto the bed, positioning himself between his legs.

Yukhei had been so preoccupied with getting a mouthful of Renjun’s cock that he didn’t pay any mind to how hard _he_ was. It comes to his full attention now that Renjun tugs at his boxers, looking up at him as he slides them down his thighs and calves, off his feet and tossed off the bed.

“You’re so…” Renjun trails off, fixated on looking at him. His expression falters, and he gulps. “…big.” 

Yukhei looks down at himself, then down at Renjun sitting in front of him, literally speechless and in complete awe of him—Yukhei did that! To him!—and as much as he wants Renjun to get his hands on him, to see Renjun’s lips wrapped around his cock, Yukhei would rather feel him in his entirety, firm and warm against his body.

He rushes forward, capturing Renjun in his arms and bringing him down to lie on top. An arm around his waist, the other hand cupping his cheek, tongue tickling the seam of Renjun’s lips and into his mouth. Less lips, more lick, their kisses sloppy and wet as he presses Renjun into his chest.

Yukhei’s hand dips down Renjun’s hip, both hands inching toward his ass, holding him, kneading his flesh. His skin is so damn soft, and his butt fits perfectly in both of Yukhei’s hands—like they were made to be held and gripped and adored—and Yukhei does his best to restrain himself from bucking his hips up, focusing on the pinpoint pressure of his cock trapped between Renjun’s body and his own. Renjun’s dick grazes Yukhei’s hip, soft but slowly growing hard again, sending a shiver up his back that Yukhei can feel through his fingers.

Renjun’s next kiss is punctuated by his hand grazing Yukhei’s arm, guiding Yukhei’s fingers to dig between the cleft of his ass.

“Renjun—” he says, eyes blinking open, and keeps his gaze trained on Renjun as his hand digs deeper, searching the crease for Renjun’s hole. He holds his breath and feels Renjun wince above him as he prods with his index finger.

It’s dry. Yukhei doesn’t know what he expected but the skin around Renjun’s pucker is warm, and tight, and dry, and he’s very worried because Renjun’s eyes are shut, buried into Yukhei’s neck and not saying a word. “Hey, are you—”

“You need to— _fuck_ ,” he hisses. “Xuxi, please get the lube ‘fore I cry.”

Yukhei retreats his finger, embarrassed at how relieved Renjun sounds when it’s out.

It’s a bit of a struggle but Yukhei eventually finds the lube and condoms. He rips off the protective plastic around the top, uncapping the bottle and lying next to Renjun.

“I’m sorry about that,” Yukhei admits, sheepishly. He turns and kisses his cheek, head knocking into the side of Renjun’s forehead.

“It’s okay. Just a ‘lil sensitive.”

“So how d’you wanna…” Yukhei lifts the bottle of lube above both of their heads. He looks up at the stucco ceiling. “Get you ready.”

Renjun takes the bottle out of Yukhei’s hand and squirts it onto his fingers. “I can do it.”

Yukhei frowns. “But—”

“Have you done this to yourself?” Renjun asks, reaching for a pillow and propping it under his hips.

“No, I—I haven’t.” _Should_ he have tried? He hadn’t considered it. “But I wanna help you,” he pouts, doing his best impression of puppy dog eyes to Renjun.

“Then come here and kiss me,” Renjun suggests, pointing to his lips. “I need kisses to relax.”

Yukhei slides next to Renjun and does just that. He kisses him, kisses with a palm on Renjun’s waist and his eyes open, jaw going slack as he sees Renjun slip a finger into himself. He catches the whimper that falls off his lips, kissing him through the initial discomfort, the whine that turns into a low moan, his breath and the echo of his finger thrusting into himself the only sounds in the whole room. Yukhei strokes himself dry, kissing Renjun silly, the tangle of their lips a distraction from how much Yukhei wants to touch Renjun and be the one to make him moan like this.

Renjun pulls out to grab more lube and Yukhei takes the bottle from him. He doesn’t stop him, watching with wide pupils as Yukhei slicks up his fingers—slimy and cold, he notes—and moves down the bed, settled between Renjun’s legs.

Yukhei looks up at Renjun once more, all splayed out and beautiful and _his_ , and with a gentle nod from above, he slides a single finger inside.

Renjun keens, reaches forward and Yukhei holds him with his free hand, fingers interlaced and not letting go.

It unravels slowly from there. Yukhei plants kisses everywhere, moving up and down Renjun’s thigh, over his stomach, on his hips, working him open slowly. His fingers are bigger than Renjun’s and the angle is different than before, so Renjun whimpers and groans and sighs even more, creasing his brow and twisting his lip, but he’s doing _so_ good, so well. He’s tight and hot, wet with lube, Yukhei’s finger gliding in and out. Yukhei experiments with moving it side to side, stretching his walls until Renjun starts to moan with pleasure again, reaching for Yukhei’s face and kissing him, asking for “more, more, another,” and Yukhei pulls his finger out.

Yukhei’s cock throbs even harder as he watches Renjun take two of his fingers, wincing and then whining, sweating under him. Heat swirls in knots in Yukhei’s stomach, swelling in his chest, and he kisses Renjun’s thigh, sucks hickeys there as he stretches him more slowly, no finesse to his movements.

“More, I can—” Renjun whimpers, “take more.”

Yukhei can’t tell if he’s ready, just hears the firmness of his voice and feels the clench of his walls around his fingers. He trusts Renjun’s judgment—wouldn’t be able to tell if he’s ready otherwise—and decides to be liberal with the lube, applying more onto his fingers.

The first two slide in easy. Renjun feels tight as is, so he prods with the third slowly, slowly, and kisses his thigh as it pushes through.

“Shit, oh my— fuck,” Renjun cries. It looks like it hurts, and tears form at the edge of his eyes from the pain.

Yukhei feels awful, can’t imagine how much it must burn. He looks down at himself—his cock keeps twitching against the bed—and then at his fingers, and it… worries him, the eventual stretch.

“You’re doing amazing, baby, just relax a little more,” Yukhei coos, kissing his thigh again. Keeps kissing him, littering him with love bites and scratches on the skin, any distraction from the sting.

It takes long. It takes forever, if Yukhei’s being honest with himself, but it’s necessary, and he’s patient, and eventually Renjun lets out a soft moan, so faint Yukhei has to strain his ears to hear it until it grows louder. Grows and grows and Renjun whimpers and sweats with a sheen across his chest and down his temple, glowing. He scratches at Yukhei’s shoulder, nudging him upward and into a kiss.

“I’m ready.”

“You sure?”

“Yeah, I’m sure, I—” Renjun pauses, kissing him long and slow. “I want you.”

The condom feels tight and constricted around Yukhei’s dick. He rolls it over his length, uncertain how he feels about the slap of latex, how wet it sounds when he applies lube. A glance over to Renjun—the way he watches him, those hungry eyes again—makes him apply a bit more along his length. Just in case.

He guides himself to Renjun’s entrance, looking down at Renjun, petting his knee and thighs, and sucks in a breath.

Renjun’s face recoils in immediate pain—he must feel fucking _horrible_ —just as the head of Yukhei’s dick slips in. It’s agonizing, how slow he pushes forward, feeling like his soul is getting sucked out of his body with every millimeter deeper, deeper. Renjun’s hand finds Yukhei’s, squeezing white-knuckle tight, and he shudders as Yukhei bottoms out.

It is so hard for Yukhei to stay still.

He rests his body over top of Renjun, brushing the hair out of his eyes. Kissing him silly, over his eyelids and down his nose and across his chin, on his lips. Whispers sweet nothings because as amazing as he feels—wrapped up and warm and tight, surrounding Yukhei’s cock like a sheath to a sword—he can see Renjun’s discomfort. He offers a warm hand on his thigh to stroke him calm, and his lips to kiss away any of the pain, and with a shaky exhale Renjun sighs, tense muscles finally relaxing.

Yukhei offers his love, too.

“Hey, Renjun.”

“Y-Yeah?”

Yukhei brushes his nose over the high point of Renjun’s cheek, kissing him. “I’m so in love with you,” he whispers into his skin.

Renjun takes Yukhei’s face in his hand, thumb stroking his cheekbone. Yukhei looks at him, hoping he can show how much he means it: show how head over heels he is for Renjun, heart practically beating out of his chest with how much he loves this boy, wants to make him feel good and feel loved in a way he’s never been able to before.

He smiles, tilting Yukhei’s forehead down to press a kiss over his mole, and that’s enough of an answer for him to know that Renjun feels the same way.

Yukhei rearranges himself, cages Renjun with his arms, and leans down for a kiss at the same time he shifts his hips.

The drag is excruciatingly slow. Yukhei breathes deeply, holding himself back, trying to control his movements because his dick is so hard it feels like he’s going to explode, and Renjun is so _warm_ , so hot with his teeth sinking into Yukhei’s shoulder, clutching his back and groaning, and Yukhei wants to fuck Renjun so hard he forgets his name. He could pass out with how much he wants— _needs_ more.

Renjun mumbles something into his shoulder.

“Huh?” Yukhei grunts. It’s the best he can do with how dizzy he feels, toe-curling bliss growing deep inside him.

“Faster,” Renjun rasps. He caresses Yukhei’s cheek. “You feel so good, baby, c’mon.”

Yukhei falls apart sooner than he wants to.

He thrusts in, full and deep and breathtaking, Renjun moaning at the pull out, and he thrusts like that again, and again, quicker, faster. Renjun clenches around him as he speeds up, Yukhei shallowly teasing the tip of his dick at his entrance, and Renjun fucking _loves_ it, all of Yukhei’s efforts rewarded with moans and sighs and pretty little gasps of air, and then Yukhei feels it build and crash over him all at once. He comes and comes and it’s the hardest he’s ever orgasmed in his whole life, feels it in shocks that ripple into the ends of his fingers, his toes, a wave of pleasure that washes over him and pulls him under.

All that’s left is for Yukhei to collapse on top of Renjun, heaving. Renjun kisses his hair, runs a warm hand up and down his back, and Yukhei’s soul ascends into another dimension as he pulls out.

The condom feels gross when Yukhei rolls it off; he winces, and Renjun has the audacity to laugh at him. “Feel good?”

“I feel—” _like goo_ , Yukhei thinks. He flops on top of Renjun again and reaches for the bottle of lube. “Feel amazing.”

Yukhei doesn’t try to drag it out. He’s ready to sleep through the new year, and he wishes he didn’t come already, so he pours lube into his palm and skates his hand between their bodies, grasping Renjun’s dick and stroking him. Renjun comes again with quick tugs on his dick, cum streaking his stomach, and Yukhei kisses him through the aftershocks, content to hear Renjun mutter his name.

The clean up isn’t awful. It’s gross and sticky and involves Yukhei tying up the condom and flushing it down the toilet, grabbing two wet towels on the way back. He’s careful to wipe down Renjun’s stomach, get him all tidy and dry again, and passes him the bottle of water he opened earlier.

“What time is it?” Yukhei asks when they settle back into the bed.

“It’s—” Renjun pulls up his wristwatch again. He snorts, playing footsie with Yukhei under the blanket. “It’s a quarter past midnight. We fucked through the new year.”

“Huh. Happy New Year, baobei.” Yukhei kisses him on the lips.

Renjun smiles into it. “Happy New Year. We did it.”

“Yeah.”

“Yeah.”

Yukhei looks up at the ceiling again, scanning around his room. His gaze lands on the box of condoms on the floor, then back to Renjun beside him.

“Wanna do it again?”

  
  
  


**Author's Note:**

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